RemarkAble Women Speak

Letting Go Among the Trees

After a stressful morning last week, I drove to the local botanical garden and sat for a bit.  Communing with Mother Nature is one of the most satisfying antidotes for calming the mind, the body, and the spirit. All three of me were wanting to be soothed and pampered.

Glancing across the parking lot, I noticed that a wind had kicked up.  Some of the trees were dancing to the whooshing sounds of the light gusts; others stood ramrod still.  For the movers and shakers, I noticed that the upper part of those tree swayed, while the lower section did not budge. The trees that did not move at all were sufficiently sheltered by others.

Watching the trees sashay to and fro began to calm me down, and my mind soon cleared of the mist that had dampened my spirit. After a while, I was ready to go home, confident that I had let go, even if only temporarily, of the tension that had gripped me just moments earlier. Mother Nature had bestowed her graciousness upon me.

When something or someone disrupts your life, and you feel tossed about by the winds of frustration, notice the parts of your mind, body, or spirit that remain steadfast. Those are the parts that don't give in to the winds, because they have embraced the support around them. Whether it is deep breathing, words of advice from a trusted friend, a warm cup of herbal tea, a lover's hug, or a powerful sense of self, take care of yourself by accepting the comfort that shows up.

Ann Landers said, "Some people believe that holding on and hanging in there are signs of great strength.  However, there are times when it takes much more strength to know when to let go -- and then do it."

In letting go, you will find your strength. Manage what you can, and release that which you cannot.  Hold steadfast to that which is helpful, kind, and understanding. Liberate that which is discouraging, disrespectful, and disheartened. Let it go, for it, too, needs its time among the trees.

Bouncing Through the Day

If you're looking for a book that's quick to read, but packed with inspiring thoughts on how to blur work and play, I recommend Rules of the Red Rubber Ball, by Kevin Carroll.  The subtitle is Find and Sustain Your Life's Work.

Red Rubber Ball chronicles the author's lifefrom an uncertain childhood to days spent playing sports at every opportunity to becoming a trainer for the Philadelphia 76ers to attaining a leadership position at Nike. His current play is as a consultant and motivational speaker.

The metaphor of the rubber ball as Carroll's journey to success couples well with his rules for mastering the art of living full out.  My interpretation might not do his message justice, so I'll share his words instead. 

The red rubber ball represents play to me.  It's any activity, topic or purpose that makes you excited about the day...Your red rubber ball is what grabs you by the soul..It's what you daydream, and that dream can become your life's work, it you let it...Once you find your red rubber ball, may the source of your play become your life's work so much so that no one - not even you - will be able to tell the difference between the two.

What's your red rubber ball?  Is it part of your everyday play?  If not, how can you make that so?

 

 

Allowing Room for Play

Three weeks ago, I wrote how I finally cleared the clutter from my desk, and felt creatively energized by both the literal and the figurative Space I had opened up.  I also agreed to hold myself accountable to you, and let you know how I was doing.

I'm delighted to report that both my desk and my office continue to be maintained as clutter-free.  While the occasional spread of papers or cluster of piles surfaces now and then, it is so much easier to bring it all back under control in short order.

Today, as I tucked a few things away, I spied the wooden top from India, round and slightly flat, with a  hint of a tip beneath, prettily painted with the leaves and pink petals of a flower, and a spindle protruding from its middle.  My strategically-placed toy was looking for action.

Play time!  The top serves as more than a decoration.  It is the occasional reminder for me to  stop and take the time to play, especially in the midst of a busy day.

According to the National Institute of Play, "In play our burdens feel lighter and we are opened to new possibilities. But play goes even deeper – it shapes our brains to make us smarter and more able to adapt to situations."

Play is an activity you do because you enJoy it, because it's fun.  It might be something you do regularly, such as gardening or golfing.  Play can also be spontaneous, with no hint of preparation or plan.  For it to truly be play, though, what you are doing must have greater importance and meaning than why you are doing it, unless of course, the why is merely to have fun.  Play engages the voice, the body, facial gestures, the mind, memory, passion, and desire.

When will you come out and play?

FYI: If you're in the Seattle area, come play at the workshop on Games Children Play, And What Adults Can Learn From Them.

Thank You is Not Enough

Somehow Happy and Memorial in the same sentence seems a bit awkward, especially when the reference is to lives lost in the pursuit of military service to our country.  Young and old, male and female, their dedication and heroism permit us to celebrate the freedoms we enjoy today.

And yet, I am happy for those families whose sons and daughters left a legacy of allegiance to this country that continues to inspire and warm the spirits of many across this nation.  These families deserve just recognition for the sacrifices they endured because of their loss. 

I am happy that generations continue to learn the lessons of how devastating war can be, in the hope that peaceful solutions will one day be recognized as the only way to remedy intense differences of perspectives.

Today I honor the 24 hours set aside as a memorial to the special souls who gave their lives for our liberties.  As I hung the flag from our porch railing this morning, the wind whipped the Stars and Stripes to attention, causing a slight lump in my throat as I thought of my family's fortune that both my brothers came home from Vietnam.

Let us remember the true meaning of today. I am happy that, between the picnics, and the yard work, and the festivals in the parks, our deceased military members are remembered in ceremonies and parades recounting their unselfish deeds and courageous acts.

To all the RemarkAble military forces of this country, past, current, and future, a heartfelt Thank You.  Happy Memorial Day.

Will You Hold Me Accountable?

My home office is so clean now!  Gone are the piles of papers.  Piles on the floor, in two spots.  Piles on the desk.  Both the left and the right sides.  Mind you, these weren't heaping piles spilling out into the hallway.  But they brought enough clutter into my room, that I began to feel creatively stifled.

I was determined to do something about it, and dedicated one morning to getting through the piles.  Do you know what it feels like to get rid of something, permanently, and acknowledge that life still goes on without a hiccup?  That was my experience, and I was loving it. 

With every piece of paper that ended up in a binder, a file, or the recycle bin, the air felt lighter and I felt renewed.  By the time my clearing was complete, I was compelled to maintain this new look, to make it a habit.  And now that I've told you, I will hold myself accountable to you. I will keep you apprised of my progress, and you can check in with me anytime. 

Do you have a habit you want to keep over time?  Then find an Accountability Partner, someone who will hold you responsible for your follow through.  Someone who will forgive you for a minor slip-up.  Someone who will hold your hand when the going gets tough.  Someone who will celebrate when the habit has stuck.

What new habit do you want to create? 

NOTE: It looks like Spring is holding true as the season for clean-ups.  My good friend and fellow coach, Sandra Jones, wrote about her Clean Sweep on her blog.  Check it out.

A Simple Game, A Big Lesson

I was playing Scrabble (R) with my husband and mother-in-law, when my eyes suddenly told me I was seeing a long word.  All I would have to do is move the letter tiles around, and the word would emerge.  I felt the possibility even before the semblance of the word appeared.  I just knew it was there.  Wow!  A five, maybe even six, letter word. 

PASTE? PASTED? STAMP?

Deep breath.  And another.  Wait a minute!  STAMPED!  I can use all 7 tiles.  But I needed to connect them to another tile already on the board.  Hmmm.  Another deep breath. 

I Love My Job!

Last week, while shopping in the produce section at Safeway, I heard two employees engaged in a conversation.  It went like this:

He: I really like my job.  I've learned so much.  I look forward to coming here, and the work's not hard.

She: I know what you mean.  I really love my job, being around all the healthy foods, the colors, and all the people.

He: Yeah.  It's the best job ever.

Life Doesn't Wait for the Best Time to Talk

Sometimes we put life on hold, as if we have a lifetime to wait.  But just like an inpatient caller, if life is on hold too long, you might get disconnected.  Hung up on.  With an endless dial tone.

If you'd rather have a long, lively conversation with life, this passage from Everyday Grace,by Marianne Williamson, offers her insights on how to robustly engage with life, in this moment, rather than postponing for a better time. 

"We need not wait for the world to become more mystical; the world is mystical.  Our problem is not that the world lacks magic; our problem is that we don't believe in its magic.  We do not show up fully for life, and then wonder why life is not showing up more fully for us...The time to show up fully for life is right now, whatever the circumstance....The only way to achieve an exciting life is to be excited and exciting.  The only way to achieve an excellent life is to be willing to be excellent.  The only way to achieve love is to be willing to be more loving."

How can you bring more excitement, excellence, and love into your life?  What are you willing to do?  What are you willing to stop doing?

Listening to Your Body

Earlier this week, I had a clear and distinct epiphany.  It came to me while listening to a teleclass on living creatively, not reactively.  It continued to evolve as I sat still with myself, and later still while I shared its story with my husband.  Not content to rest on its laurels, it resurfaced at a meeting that night as the featured presenter spoke of letting go.  It continued on its way as I drove home.

Throughout the course of its journey, I listened.  Intently.  With my entire body.

Do you know that the ears are among the earliest organs to develop in the human body?  While our embryos are taking shape, they already hear the sounds around them, including Mom's heart, the voices of those with whom she is in conversation, and the strains coming from her mp3 player. What you hear in the womb, and once you are out in the big wide world, are the sounds and noises of your external environments.  Human exchanges.  Musical tunes.  Animal language.  Atmospheric energies.  Lend an ear, and the frequencies will find you.

Taking Care of Yourself

Aaaaaaah!  I love that sound...the sound of exhaled breath after having inhaled a fresh supply of oxygen to enrich the blood and invigorate the soul. It's the sound of deep breathing, a healthy stress management technique that eases tension and reduces anxiety.  But sometimes we forget.

April is National Stress Awareness Month. The Institute of HeartMath, a renowned organization noted for scientific research and personal products dedicated to stress relief, recommends these tips, among others, for taking care of yourself. These ideas are not new; you've most likely heard them before.  But sometimes life gets too busy, and we all forget.

• Know what stresses you.  Typical triggers are your thoughts, emotions, and attitudes, and not so much what someone else has said or done. Your body doesn't care if you are experiencing a small stress or a bigger stress.  Whether you forgot to buy milk when you went grocery shopping or your flight has been delayed for 14 hours, the affect of stress on your body will be relatively the same. Take care of yourself.
• You can control how you respond to stress.  Rather than be a victim of it, become a champion over it.  Monitor those triggers before they become entrenched as physical and emotional reactions. Meditate, breathe deeply, talk to someone. Take care of yourself.
• Manage your stress in the moment. Why wait until a more perfect time?  There is no such thing. If you're holding out for that glass of wine after work, and it's only 10:00 in the morning, you are cheating your body of being in a healthier state. Take care of yourself.

You are a RemarkAble Woman who deserves to be taken care of in very healthy ways.  Be your own champion, and let it happen.