I returned from Janet's memorial service about an hour ago, and I'm feeling a bit a bit of an emotional drain. The shift of emotions is due in part to the fact that she is gone. Plus, a greater level of emotions were tapped into as I listened to the stories of how people admired this RemarkAble woman.
She wasn't loud and boisterous, but she spoke up in a quiet way that was extremely powerful. Many remembered how she stood up for others, while holding their "perpetrators" in good grace. Very rarely did she have an unkind word for those who were less than pleasant in their mannerisms. She was also noted for how well she listened and paid attention, as if you were the only one in that moment that mattered. For her, that's how it truly was.
As I spoke my truth during the eulogy, my respect for her was elevated, even as I repeated accolades that were previously voiced by others. Janet deserved as much mention of her kind, gentle spirit as we could bestow upon her.
In hindsight, I wonder how much she knew of how I felt about her. How often had I told her how special she was, and in what ways? I know that I complimented her from time to time for this and that. Yet, how much gratitude did I honestly share with her? It saddens me to think that I probably said more about her at her services than I ever did in person.
You've heard it said as much as I have, and yet I, for one, do not make it a regular practice. Let people know how you feel about them while you still can. Tomorrow is not promised, so speak up today and let your loved ones know how much they mean to you. It can be with a simple, "Thank you," or as tender as a Top 10 list of What I Treasure About You. In 2007, my husband gave me a Valentine card in which he wrote, "Here are some of the things I love about you." Have I told you before that he's a keeper?
Speak up now while these treasures are still a part of your life. Eulogies are a memorable way to accentuate the reputation of an individual who has passed, but a face-to-face exchange with a smile or a hug, while they are still alive, is a better way to go.
In my heart, I believe Janet understood what a delight she was to me. I do not regret what might not have been said during the years, because I know what was said. My wish for Janet is that she be greeted with loving arms when she returns home after having been on loan to us for 55 years. For that, I am forever thankful.
Sweet journey, my dear friend.
Dear Patricia,
Thank you for reminding me, how many people in my life deserve to hear how special they are and how much their presence on the planet means to me!
Thank you, too, for your honest expression of what is up for you. Your courage inspires mine!
With appreciation for YOU,
Sandra J.
Posted by: Sandra Jones | March 12, 2008 at 05:45 PM