RemarkAble Women Speak

Whose Time is It Anyway?

This past Christmas, I gifted my two sisters with the  book, Don't Sweat the Small Stuff - For Women, by Kristine Carlson. Inside the book, I placed a bookmark coupon that entitles each to have lunch with me, separately, and on my tab.

Part of the deal, though, is that we each will choose one of the 100 tips from Kristine, and hold each other accountable for implementing it into our lives this year. Since I'm meeting with both, I will choose two.

When I read the tip, "Give Yourself More Time Than You Think You'll Need," I knew that was one of my choices. Years ago, I was always on time. No matter the event, it was my habit to be on time. A meeting, dinner with friends, picking someone up at the airport - I was guaranteed to be there waiting.

And wait I did, while others lumbered in late, or sometimes not at all.  Eventually, my attitude shifted, and I developed a new habit of showing up just in the nick of time, or a few minutes late. Not for everything, but often enough. "That'll show them," I thought.

Well, it didn't show anyone anything except that I was late, and not mindful of their time. For me, though, it showed how I could let my attitude take precedence over my personal values of integrity and respect for others. Respect for me, as well. It's become a game to see how much I can squeeze in before grabbing my car keys.

Being late usually means I am running around at the last minute, or past the time I said I would be out the door. My heart races quicker than my feet as I dash from closet to mirror to PC to check one last email.

I don't need that stress. I don't want it. I want to be calm as I leave the house, not catching my breath as I zip along the highway.

A couple of weeks ago, I was scheduled to attend a meeting at 6:00 in the evening, which meant driving during the rush hour. The highway I would take is notorious for jams. I allowed extra time, and even though there was an accident up ahead that slowed us down, I was the first one to arrive, 1/2 hour ahead of time.

I began setting up the room until a couple others arrived. That taken care, I could then sit and chat, sip hot tea, and be relaxed and ready to contribute at the meeting.

When my youngest sister and I meet for lunch next week, I'll be ahead of time, glancing at the menu, ready to have her hold me accountable for cementing my "new" old habit.

A Final Tip: Schedule your travel time on your calendar as well as the actual event. Depending on the distance, I might schedule 5:30 for Travel and 6:00 for Networking Meeting. That way, I have two appointments to keep - one with myself, and a second with others.

What's your plan for managing your time?

Silence in the Soul

At 8:00 a.m. PST yesterday, I joined millions of people across the country,and maybe across the world, in a moment of silence for Rep. Gabrielle Giffords and all the victims of the massacre in Tucson. President Obama and First Lady Michelle Obama led the silence as we bowed our heads.

The words I whispered were sent to all who were impacted by this tragedy. To those who died; to Rep. Giffords and others who were injured; to the families who face a new future; to those who witnessed a terrifying scene.

Additionally, each and every one of us has been impacted in some manner. Some angrily question the sanity of the shooter and the gun laws that allowed his purchase. Others are reminded of their own loved ones whose lives ended in a similar fashion under different circumstances. Still others question the divisiveness within political camps.

Putting that aside for a bit, what is important in these hours is to maintain a sense of calm and comfort, rather than engaging in speculation and anxious desires for retribution. This is not to say that chaos and unrest are reigning. In fact, I appreciate the soothing discussions and queries that I've seen and heard.

When tragedies such as this occur, you have the gift of the silence in your soul to remind you that peace begins with the self. No amount of blame or upset or media coverage will undo what has happened. Staying mindful of what you alone can manage and control helps you lend a quiet strength to those who choose frustration and angst.

Be still, be silent, be soulful. 

A Challenge in Transparency

I decided to accept the challenge of fabulous writer and fellow coach, Deborah Drake, to develop a list of 25 things you don't know about me. Transparency ain't bad when it's good. And it's good when it's authentic. Imagine not stressing about what others think. Here goes.

1. I have an uncanny knack for looking at a clock, night or day, at the exact time that is the same number as my birth month and day. 
2. I accept that I am estranged from an older sister, by her choice, and hold out hope that one day the relationship will be restored. 
3. Though I love to write, I sometimes crave perfection over a simple message. 
4. The thought of learning new software or technology panics me at first, and I stall. 
5. I love doing crossword puzzles! 
6. I used to always be early or right on time for appointments and events. Now I tend to run a tad late. 
7. When I no longer hear from a friend, even when I stay in contact, it really bothers me. 
8. One of my prized possessions is a photo of my mother hugging me at my 8^th grade graduation. 
9. I have a shadow box shrine for my cat that was euthanized 10 years ago. 
10. I never liked being called “skinny.” 
11. My second oldest brother is a shining example of how someone can turn their life around. I’, so proud of him! 
12. I wonder what world peace will look like when it shows up. 
13. I know I was put on this earth to help others in a profound way. 
14. I always thought I would be a mother, and though I don’t have children, I love having them around me. 
15. I’ve owned two cars in 35 years. 
16. The first man I truly loved was 15 years older than me. 
17. No matter how the trends differ from year to year, red is always my favorite color. 
18. I don’t make it to shove. I stop at push, with a smile. 
19. I will never, ever dye my hair. 
20. My parents had a library wall in their bedroom, so I love being surrounded by books. 
21. If I don’t have the money for something, I don’t buy it. 
22.  I know what love at first sight feels like. 
23. I have been up in the air, literally, in eight distinctively different ways. 
24. I still sew (occasionally) on my mother’s Singer machine she bought in the 60’s. 
25. I love how a heavy rain refreshes and cleanses the Earth.

There you have it. Will you take the challenge and share yourself with me? Write as spontaneously as you can, without editing or thinking too much. Do not, I repeat, do not stress over this. Let it flow. 

Let you flow, Remarkable Woman!