RemarkAble Women Speak

Dreams Survive When You Don't Quit

The author has never been known.  The words, however, have undoubtedly been repeated in every corner of the world since the day they were born.  Witness the power of belief for yourself as you read the Don't Quit poem. 

When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,
When the road you're trudging seems all uphill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high,
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit,
Rest, if you must, but don't you quit.

Life is queer with its twists and turns,
As every one of us sometimes learns,
And many a failure turns about,
When he might have won had he stuck it out;
Don't give up though the pace seems slow--
You may succeed with another blow.

Often the goal is nearer than
It seems to a faint and faltering man,
Often the struggler has given up,
When he might have captured the victor's cup,
And he learned too late when the night slipped down,
How close he was to the golden crown.

Success is failure turned inside out--
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,
And you never can tell how close you are,
It may be near when it seems so far,
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit--
It's when things seem worst that you must not quit.

Question the Truth of What Is

In the past, I've blogged about the work of "The Work,"  a process for living with less stress by focusing on four key questions to question the thoughts that trigger stressful reactions.  If you subscribe to my ezine, I'm also written articles about The Work, and how I use it with my clients as well as myself.

Last Friday evening, I was treated to a two-hour presentation by the creator of "The Work," Byron Katie.  She spoke at the University of Washington, and I attended with two friends, one who is a coach, and the other a counselor.  Our levels of experience with The Work vary, yet, by the end of the evening, we could each see how this process can be used to help our clients, and anyone for that matter, get past the beliefs that continue to plague their progress towards a life that is more meaningful, fulfilling, and joyful.

Are You a Money Manager?

How well do you manage your money?  In our current economic downturn, many people are speaking up about how they were misled by banks and mortgage brokers as to the real cost of their home mortgages.  Some people purchased homes with insufficient monthly incomes.  Others expected salary increases to pay for anticipated rises in mortgage payments down the road; salary increases that never happened.

Instead, the price of gasoline skyrocketed and job layoffs occurred. Getting back to the realities of daily life after Barack Obama's election, individual money worries continue.  What to do?

I was reading the local newspaper a few weeks back, when a full page ad caught my eye.  It featured a Financial Declaration of Independence by ING Direct, one of the largest financial services companies in the world.  The Declaration is an individual pledge to be financially astute and money smart.

Whether you could use a few lessons in financial responsibility or are financially secured into retirement, the Declaration is worth reading.  It outlines the finer points of staying out of fiscal hot water by adhering to personal behaviors that can anchor your financial stability.  At the very least, it's a reminder of how to avoid what so many are facing as the national banking system heals its wounds. 

If you are scarred by those wounds, pay heed to the advisories within the Declaration.  Forgive yourself if you are faulting your will, your desires, your level of knowledge.  Remarkable Woman, you deserve the opportunity to recover and to face a future filled with hope and financial clarity.

A Declaration of Financial Independence - words we can all live by.

Dancing in the Light of Presence

Is it a struggle for you to stay focused when you are speaking with someone or are completing an activity?  Does your mind wander in the midst of conversation as you pretend to listen?  Does it sometimes seem as if everything on your To Do list is speaking up at once, vying for your attention?

How do you feel when you are fully Present in the moment?  Aware of what is, right then and there?  Dismissing the urge to control what is not yet known?

This amazing video is a depiction of Presence at its best.  Don't let the graininess distract you from the message.  Feel the energy of your senses as you observe the expansiveness of possibility.  I know it blew me away.

RemarkAble Woman, with the practice of self-awareness, the energy and joy of Presence can be yours. 

What's Your Image of Your Image?

A few weeks ago, I went to a networking event hosted by a photographer who offered free headshots to those who registered.  Seeing the opportunity to chat with fellow entrepreneurs while sipping a glass of wine, I RSVPed with a definite "Yes."

Then the mind chatter started.  What will I wear?  (A purplish pink top).  What will I do with my hair? (Let the gray show through as always.)  Omigosh!  How do I hide the zit that hasn't gone away in three days?

Accepting What Is

It really works; it truly does.  Every time I do it, I am amazed at how centered I feel afterwards.  I'm not talking about yoga or meditation, though they do have the same effect.

What leaves me feeling centered?  Accepting what is, as it is, in the moment.  Not dwelling on the past or focusing on the future. Simply allowing the present to wash over me, cleansing me in the energy that has not been disturbed by time.  Regardless of the situation, when I am relaxed in Presence, and willingly accepting what is, my mind stays alert and aware, rather than slipping into stories of what was or what will be.

Recently, a fellow Toastmaster was giving an oral evaluation of a speech I presented.  I felt my body tighten as my pain-body came to life.  Spiritual teacher Eckhart Tolle, author of A New Earth, describes a pain-body as an accumulation of old emotional pain.  My pain-body around criticism reared its head in defense.  I prepared my comeback to her comments so I could either share my comments directly with her, or speak them in my mind on demand, whenever I chose.

When she and I spoke after the meeting, the tense feelings continued.  I felt uncomfortable.  So, without blinking an eye, I fully accepted the conversation as it was happening, and embraced her words as she offered them to me.  The tension slid from my body and was replaced with a light, airy feeling.  My comments were respectful of her opinion, and not laden with excuses, as I had rehearsed earlier.  I did not judge her.  I did not judge myself.  I felt the energy around us shift as my pain-body evaporated. As a RemarkAble woman, she deserved to have her voice heard.  I listened.  In the process, I learned.

The next time you find yourself struggling with an awkward conversation, notice where your attention is focused.  Is it finding a story to support it?  Is it seeking validation in a tangle of emotions from the past?  Take a deep breath.  Breathe in the only time you have, which is Now.  The past is gone; it is void of time.  The future hasn't happened; it has yet to see time.  Feel your breath as it energizes you now.  Be still.  Listen.  Feel the joy of accepting what is.

It's Amazing What Can Be Seen with Three I's

Sometimes the word intuition gets bandied about with confusion as to its actual meaning.  I prefer to think of myself as the three "I's" described by Indian mystic and guru, Osho, also known as Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh.  The three "I's"comprise our full Being, with the harmony of the Head, Heart, and Body.  Osho says that, "In this harmony comes the revelation of the source of one's life, the very center, the soul."

When I quiet the intellect that believes it knows everything, trust my instinct to take care of me, and allow my intuition to speak up with what it knows, I learn from that wisdom as I gain new wisdom about myself.

Staying on Track

I realize that I am delinquent in following up on sharing some of my other SMART PLUS goals with you.  I continue to make progress with my quest to drink 32 ounces of water every day.  In 44 days, I have only had fewer than 32 ounces (ranging from 14-24) on six days.

Today is the biggest exception of them all, since, aside from a cup of coffee and the milk in my oatmeal, I haven't had any water.  That's right.  Oh, and throw in a diet Pepsi as well.  Do you ever have one of those days when you crave something you haven't had for a while?  Today I spied the Pepsi, my husband's beverage of choice, and just had to have it.  And so I did.

It Takes More Than Oxygen to Speak Up

Quite coincidentally, or perhaps more synchronistically, I received an email today that compares water to Coca Cola.  Having already completed two weeks of my "drink more water" goal, my curiosity was piqued, since Coke used to be my beverage of choice many years ago.

But now that my water goal is public, and Coke has lost its appeal, I paid special attention to this missive.  Among other notes of interest, the email states that: 

• 75% of Americans are chronically dehydrated (as is most of the world).
• In 37% of Americans, the thirst mechanism is so weak that it is mistaken for hunger.
• Even mild dehydration will slow down one's metabolism by 3%.

It didn't take long for me to realize that dehydration and thirst are like bad conversation and mis-communication.  Just as with a lack of water, communication that is void of style is as dysfunctional as the hidden agendas and perceptions that cloud its words. Even when the meaning is well-intended, its effect is parched and feeble.

A Sip in Time Feels Divine

As beneficial as SMART goals are in motivating you to get started (see 1/17/08 post), that process is all about what you are DOING to gain momentum.  It's a good place to start, but it's really only part of the process. You'll also want to feel your success, so you can appreciate the steps you are taking.

In order to succeed at a goal in way that touches you to the core, and brings you to the center of your heart, focus on who you are BEING. When your actions and your feelings converge in harmony, the intention of your goal attracts Universal support from within that sustains you.

Here's my addition to the SMART process that brings your Being into what you are Doing.  I refer to it as SMART PLUS.  The PLUS entails these elements about your attitude and how you feel:

P = Pleasing.  A PLUS goal agrees with you.  It satisfies a desire to feel an emotion, as in happiness or peace.

L = Loving.  Focus on your goal without judgment.  Love who you are regardless of the level of gains that you are making towards your goal.  Applaud your efforts.

U = Upbeat.  The more energetic and spirited you are, it feels less like a goal, and more like a prize you are giving yourself.  You're totally jazzed by what you are gaining.

S = Steadfast.  Nothing will sway you from reaching your goal.  You are determined because of what it will bring to you.  Not only will you get what you want, but you will feel positive about the experience.

SMART PLUS.  Doing and Being.  Working towards an improvement while focusing on the depths of the Self.  Full expression.

It has been two weeks since I began my goal to drink 32 ounces of water every day.  Every morning, I fill my 32 ounce container to that magical mark. But that's only the start.  I go to the bathroom more often, disrupting my work.  My chin broke out in zits from the toxins being flushed from my system.  My stomach is distended at times. 

And yet, I love how dedicated I am.  I congratulate myself when I take the last swallow.  I anticipate the day when my bladder will get used to being flushed so regularly. I celebrate my hydration.  I smile when I chart my measurable success.  I acknowledged the one day I only drank 14 ounces.  "Stuff happens," I said.

And I reached for the next sip.