RemarkAble Women Speak

Speaking Up in School

In praise of RemarkAble Women.  That's what this blog is all about.  Women who are grabbing hold of their life and saying, "This is what I want to do."  Ordinary women.  Ordinary in that they aren't grabbing headlines.  They don't have celebrity status.  They are women like you and me.

Women like my younger sister, Cynthia.  It was only in the past couple of years that she recognized her fondness for cooking and baking.  Suddenly, dinners at her home consisted of butternut squash soup, shrimp manicotti, and clams with asparagus. Then she excelled at desserts.  Homemade almond tarts, banana bread, cheesecakes, shortbread squares, and lemon bars. I envy her neighbors who get to taste test her latest experiment with a new recipe.

I live about 10 miles away. Once, when I learned she was baking a fresh coconut cake, I told her she had to save a piece for me and my husband.  I drove to her house solely to garner 1/4 of the sweet, moist, multi-layered dessert.  Every bite brought back childhood memories of our Mom's kitchen creativity.

Last week, Cynthia's dream of two years culminated when she returned to school to earn a certificate in Pastry/Specialty Baking.  Proactively, she's looking for a part-time job at a bakery so she can gain more practice as she learns.  Visions of sugarplums are already dancing in my head. 

Following on her heels, though in another direction, is my hairdresser.  Rosa has been in business for probably close to 30 years.  Very successfully, I might add.  Starting this winter quarter, she is heading to a local community college for a degree in Business Administration.  Why?  "Because I want to do this for me."

And then there's Kelly.  We met on the job, where we both worked in Human Resources.  Eventually, she traded her employee status for mommyhood.  Today, she and her husband are blessed with the most darling of little girls, ages 9 and 10.  What's Kelly up to these days?  She's working as a Registered Nurse, having returned to school to earn that designation. 

Three ordinary women.  Each RemarkAble in their own way.  Speaking up in the classroom.  Speaking up at work.  Speaking up in life.  Taking charge.  Making a difference.  Three voices among many who have experienced the power of expressing their soul's desires.

What's your story?

The Voice of a Citizen

How was your celebration of our country's independence?  Family, friends, fireworks and FOOD factored into how I spent the 4th of July.  Tonight, I will polish off the last of my sister's chilled cucumber soup.  Hooray for yummy leftovers!

My friend Maria had something extra to celebrate this year.  I have known her since 1999, sharing some of the secrets that only girlfriends share.  But there was one thing I did not know.  She was just a toddler when her family emigrated to the U.S.A.  Well, I knew that.  Except, all these years, she has lived in the states with the status of permanent resident.  I had no idea.

That has changed, however.  On June 27, she became a naturalized citizen.  Now she can vote.  And travel abroad without applying for a visa.  She doesn't have to renew her green card every ten years.  She is an American citizen.  To the core.

Maria is also a RemarkAble Woman, someone I have always admired. 

• She pulls herself up by the proverbial boot straps when going after what she wants.
• Sometimes she needs a nudge, yet she will speak up for herself if she is getting the wrong end of the stick. 
• When she holds back, when she doesn't speak up, she admits that it is of her own doing, without faulting the other person.
• She laughs a lot, and has a positive outlook even when circumstances are less so.
• She has a soft spot in her heart for anyone/anything that needs a bit of comfort and understanding, including animals.
• She is, at the least, charming; at the most, devoted to her relationships.
• She is quick to compliment, helping others see their bright spots.
• Lastly (at least for this list), she is, without a doubt, one of the snappiest dressers I know.  Give her an old t-shirt and a piece of cloth, and she'll look like she shopped at a designer boutique.

She looks good in red, white and blue.  I'm delighted that she pursued her dream and took the steps towards becoming a citizen.  She and her husband were amazed at the 93 countries represented during the swearing-in ceremony.  Many of the people were from countries currently at war with each other, or with histories of having done so.  Yet, there they stood, side by side, embracing their new status, in peace.

And there Maria stood.  Firmly proud, a woman unto herself, continuing to forge ahead in the world.   

Who are your RemarkAble Women?  What makes them so?  What is their story? 

If You Think You Can't...

I spent part of yesterday afternoon at an Open House, in a lakeside home with gorgeous vistas.  I wasn't there to see real estate for sale, though.  This open house was an event to formulate a group of donors for Harambe Development, a non-profit organization dedicated to building a clinic for medical and dental care in the village of Masindi in Uganda.  Co-leading this effort is a most RemarkAble women, Rosemary Mukalazi.  Born and raised in a city near Masinidi, it was Rosemary's childhood dream to provide such care to the villagers, who lacked what she had.

All these many years later, and now a practicing RN in the U.S., Rosemary's dream is coming true.  Supporting Rosemary is co-leader Linda Ranz, and a full Board of Directors comprised of business owners and medical professionals.

How does a RemarkAble Woman rise to these heights, and keep the dream alive?  This is how I see Rosemary doing it.

• Believe in your passion.  Feel the intensity of your desire in your heart.  Believe that it is real, because it is.  Your heart is the core where your emotions lie before they become your thoughts.
• Speak up, ask for help, and stay open to receiving offers of assistance.  No offer is too small.
• Focus. Rather than working on many pieces at once, prioritize.  Then take your time on the pieces that matter most right now.
• Remain calm.  Use your energy to propel yourself forward.  Stress will hold you back.  Stop when you feel any tension.  Breathe.  Laugh.  Play.  They are just as much a part of your work as your regular tasks.
• Withhold the urge to say "can't."  Or "won't."  Acknowledge your fears and risks, and stay the course.  You owe it to your heart.  This may be easier said than done, but is well worth the results.

If you would like to help Harambe Development, visit their website.  It's still in the fledgling stage, though soon they will have a mechanism to accept donations.  Yes, your $5 bill really makes a difference, as does someone else's $100.  Or your website skills.  Or your PR skills.

Speak up, RemarkAble Woman to RemarkAble Woman.  Rosemary and Linda thank you, as do the villagers of Masindi.

 

Daring to Be Powerful

I received the large envelope in the mail on Saturday, and tore it open.  Greeting me were the faces of two Congolese women, with their life profiles attached.  My sponsorship through Women for Women International (WFWI) is now official (see 11/21/07 post).

Learning a bit about them from their profiles filled me with so many questions.  How does one manage with a cooking fire as the main source of lighting in a hut?  What is it like to have never gone to school, and yet maintain a household with two adults and 10 children?

Hearing each question in my mind, I felt each answer in my heart.  It's a word I've grown to appreciate for its air of optimism.

Resiliency.  That's the answer.  Despite a lifetime of no one speaking up on their behalf, and enduring circumstances that might cause you and I to collapse, these women have remained strong and courageous.  Thanks to WFWI, opportunities now exist for them to develop vocational skills, gain more self-confidence, and improve their economic situations.  To lend their voices to change their communities for the better. To speak up for themselves and others.

The glory of resiliency is the ability to rebound from a hard situation with renewed vigor, a lesson learned, and an attitude of perseverance.  Resiliency heightens the capacity for greater competence, less stress, and greater self-esteem when facing the most dire of situations.

What's your story?  When have you found the resilience from deep within your spirit to rise above adversity?  How did you bounce back in a way that left you feeling prepared to conquer similar events in the future? 

Living Your Obituary

Today, I distributed my bi-monthly ezine to my subscribers (link).  The subject centered around the legacies we leave behind, as depicted in the way we live our lives, and as noted in our obituaries.

I love reading obituaries, and not because I have an unbridled curiosity about death.  It's all about the story.  Sometimes it's as plain as day; other times, I have to read between the lines.  Regardless, when I read an obituary, I'm reading someone's story, their biography.  Complete strangers become known persons in the sum of a few words.

Family origins, career choices, volunteer contributions, athletic prowesses, financial boons and busts, hobbies, educational achievements - all are laid out from beginning to The End.  Capsules of personal trivia that speak up for voices now stilled.  Words written by family and friends at the height of their grief, perhaps when their thoughts are most poignant.  And still, an obituary is someone else's words. 

Have you noticed how often I end my posts with a comment about "What's your story...?"  My curious mind wants to know now, before it is written by loved ones from their perspective.  As morbid as it might sound, how would your write your obituary if you knew today was the day you are to be called?  What will you say to express the legacy you wish to share?  How have you left the world a better place? What will you say now that you didn't say then?  In what ways would you like to be remembered?

How will you choose the words that speak for the challenges you faced, the people you embraced, the dreams that vanished, the adventures you enjoyed, the feats you dared, the nightmares you lived, the travels that taught, the opportunities you tested, and the thoughts you feared to express? 

What's your story?   

A Hero Named Janet

Last Friday night, I received a phone call from my friend, Janet.  She was calling me from the room at the hospital (or doctor's office; not sure which), where she was receiving chemotherapy for her cancer.

I believe it's been almost three years since she first received the news.  As she told me her story, the conversation was continually peppered with laughs; hers, not mine.  But that's Janet.  Even in the midst of her first chemo treatments way back then, she joked about her craving for poached eggs.  At least she could keep them down. 

Now the cancer has spread elsewhere, and she's back in treatment.  Having lost her appetite as before, poached eggs have returned to her diet, along with bananas and applesauce.  And once again, Janet continues to laugh.  Perhaps sometimes it's to hide her angst about dealing with an inept medical system.  Most times, though, it's because she is one of the most RemarkAble Women I know, taking her situation in stride as she tucks it in among her daily activities.

She continues to thwart this demon at the pass, listening to her body as it announces yet another change, sometimes a cause for concern, and other times, a mere reaction to treatment.  Janet has her serious moments, as well.  She speaks up to her doctors and questions, "Why this" and "How's that?"  She jokes about being a spokeswoman against the radiation she was given, radiation that was awkward and painful, and that proved to be useless.  At the same time, though, she is resolute about forewarning other women to refuse the unnecessary.. 

Yes, Janet, continue to speak up for what you want and need to contain this battle.  Banish the Gremlins that might attempt to rob you of your positive outlook.  You have an army of supporters in me, Ann, Bev, Helen and Rita, and others we have yet to meet.

Your tenacity motivates my drive; your courage triggers my patience; your laughter ignites my joy.

Thank you, my dear RemarkAble Woman.  Forgive me if I have made your story more public than you prefer.  I am learning much from you, and only wish to inspire others as you have me.
 

Communicating Your Story

Last week, Jon and I learned his father's cancer has returned, this time, in his liver.  Two years ago, his cancerous bladder was removed, and he's adjusted to living with the alternative.  Aggressive chemo treatments will begin soon, and  he and my mother-in-law are still on their winter hiatus in Arizona, having to postpone their return to the NW. 

We've both been touched by cancer before.  Jon had a work colleague who died of brain cancer; I have a friend with ovarian cancer, and another with colorectal cancer.  I've also met cancer patients while working as a hospice volunteer.  And I used to work at the renown Fred Hutchinson Cancer Research Center here in Washington.

What impresses me more, though, than the successful research and the innovative treatments, are the stories of those who are living with the disease. 

It Takes More Than a Spoonful of Sugar

I had my follow-up appointment with the hand surgeon today.  I'm healing well, though it may take 6-12 months for the swelling in the finger to subside.  But I have his clearance to do all my normal activities, and am looking forward to digging in the garden soon.

Contrast my finger swelling, though, with a phone call I received from a friend this afternoon. "Hi...yeah, I had a mastectomy...doing well...went home that night...minor complication...may have reconstructive surgery next week...how are you?"

What?